You probably heard of José Barroso. No not the Mavericks’ back-up point guard, the president of the European Commission. The former Portuguese prime minister got re-elected a month ago despite a very strong opposition and yellow “Anyone but Barroso” banners flourishing on lots of European blogs.
Is this guy the best ambassador for Europe worldwide? What if it wasn’t hard to find a better one? Hence what if we could easily find a more suitable guy from the very same country with the exact same first name? Yep, the Special One, José Mourinho. I mean the guy speaks 37 languages and has been successful in Portugal, the UK and now Italy. He is known for overachieving with his teams and has outstanding management skills. Yeah he’s a bit outspoken but he’s got charisma (and Quaresma – clap, clap, clap to myself). No question he’d turn the younger generations into Euro-optimists.
What would happen if the European parliament got the same crazy idea, raised a motion of censure against the current President and voted Mourinho? What would be his first 10 commitments?
Here’s the list
- Would celebrate tongue out in front of Barroso and run around the sandstone Gothic cathedral of Strasbourg.
- Replace Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony by the Champions League anthem as the official hymn of Europe.
- Launch the FIFA and UEFA-backed 6+5 rule which means every European team must have a minimum of 6 Portuguese players on the pitch.
- Would have the guts to condemn Russia’s behaviour in Georgia because it’s a clear offside.
- Reject Turkey’s accession to the European Union because their GDP would drop too much during Ramadan.
- Would learn Finnish and understand the Irish accent in just three weeks
- Would drop out of the EU all states that fail to qualify for Euro 2012.
- Would tell Obama he’s not looking up to a country whose star of the future is named Freddy Adu.
- Would name Claude Makelele as his Commissioner in charge of the Enlargement (wink wink).
- Would diss European heads of states one by one for winning zeru tituli and pay tribute to the one and only Valéry Giscard d’Estaing.
(This video is a nugget. See maybe the former French president didn’t nail Lady Diana in the end but he did nail his penalty kicks)